Bloop.Bloop.Love

I love gardening! So peaceful and fun!
I can't wait till my basil grows flowers!
I hope I can revive the wheat grass! *crosses fingers!*

Idiom:

make a mountain out of a molehill

To exaggerate a minor problem.

 Today didn't go well. I couldn't climb out of the dark trap of negativity. Tomorrow might not be perfect, but I need to try my best! 

Even if you are lonely or sad, I will not cry.
I will keep it in, keep it in and keep it in again. Why would I cry.
Hey, even if you have difficult and tiring things,
think of me and smile brightly
Like my killer smile.
You know how bright my killer smile is. Now, smile!!
BIGGER!! Now you can laugh, right?
Answer the phone with a bright voice, okay?
One, Two, Three!!

didn’t want negative feelings between them

i've made mistakes
granted they were big mistakes
was it my fault that my path changed?
or is this really what was supposed to happen?
facing my failures over and over again
it's okay...
as long as i don't stop.

yell yell yell
yell all you want
curse at us all you want
talk down on us
continue your painful attack of words
for the smallest reasons
actually, for "reasons" that don't even qualify as reasons
continue breaking our hearts
continue your threats, accusations, and promise of inflicting pain
don't think about stopping for even a moment
don't you DARE
because that's what you do best right?
hurt the people you "care" about
you've broken me so many times
scratch that
i let you break me
but that was the past
i'm not going to crumble because of you anymore
you don't have the right
i won't let you

i never know when i sleep anymore
lost in my thoughts
lost in the future
its like i'm just drifting in and out of consciousness/time
i'm awake when i should be asleep
i'm asleep when i should be awake
i am asleep and then awake and then asleep and then awake
my day and night are intertwined
my consciousness and unconsciousness is blurred
just drifting by

"We were the guinea pigs
But I will show you that the guinea pigs are really tough"

-Lee Hong Ki


He is tired. He has worked hard. Please keep that in mind. Think about others. Think past what you think it is.

The world isn't what you thought it was
It hasn't just tilted off its axis
Your whole world has been turned upside down
tossed around
slammed to the ground
And the reality you knew was crushed beneath it without a second thought

Sad and scared
sad and scared you'll be forgotten

 

  I can't believe how happy I was today.

It really was too good to be true.

I knew it wasn't going to last.

The me at 2PM sitting in the car on the way home 

did not expect this night to be one of the 

 most painful and saddest days of my life.

I'm so tired and so sad

My eyes are red and dry

It's so late--but I can't go to sleep

It's ridiculous really

I'm too sad to go to sleep

haha self pity. screw you.

What can I say to make you understand?

Majors/Careers/Future Ideas

-Psychology
-Teaching
-Therapy
-International something (relations/etc)
-Teaching English in another country in high school
-->translating programs; working up from there

*Graduate School* soka has english teaching program i think


How you carry yourself/speak --reflects who you are in the inside
i have to believe that everything in my life led me here
in my life for a reason--to show me..to never

Allow each point of tension to be filled with your breath. Allow these places to open and relax. Pay close attention to the state of your body as this tells you a lot about how you move through the world.

Idleness may sound like bliss, but purposeful work enriches our lives"

http://static.allkpop.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/20110315_shinseunghun_concert-460x611.gif
I wish I could go to the Shin Seung Hun concert. I really think that it would be the best concert that I would have ever gone too.

As I wait for the last college acceptance letter and receive rejection letters, If I don't get in, I would like to drop everything and leave. Head to another country and try to make it on my own. Go through the struggle and emerge with a fulfilling life that I would have never known if I had chosen the safe path. I hope I get in so I can join my friends and have a great college experience also though.

All I can do is pray. Pray. Pray. Pray. Pray. Pray. Pray. Pray. Pray. Pray. --that everything will be okay.

http://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2008/06/text-of-j-k-rowling-speech/

“What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.”

 Plutarch quotes

we cannot allow ourselves to be overcome
pick yourself up and move on
I will never let failure stop me
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent
Oscar Wilde: "The less said about life's sores the better.
something else is more important than fear
who you think you are and who you can be; the key is making the journey

Jaejoong Killer Elle Movie

Kim Hye-Ri

 It's about emotion and effort. These qualities will really take you a long way.

 There is always something so beautiful about people. Something everyone possesses yet something that is unique to each individual. Sometimes people aren't aware of it. Sometimes people haven't found it yet. It hasn't been triggered yet. The perfect combination of circumstances hasn't allowed for it to show itself and manifest. Sometimes everyone else but that person can see it. But it is wonderful once we are aware of it. That is our essence. We are lucky to be able to see another person's beauty which is fragile but powerful.

10:06 pm
    LOLL thanks Minh City LOL
    i think i like calling you that hahaah!

10:06 pm
    you think?
    you doubting yourself
    lolz

stop seeing things that aren't there
imagining that people don't care for you
just because they don't do everything for you/meet your expectations

self dependent

"I thought I was dying." 
crying saying, ‘Please come back, don’t leave forever.’”

you will do fine you won't die . people before you have done it and are fine. people befor eyou have made mistakes. its not so bad

He says He just wants people to be happy

videoblog

you should be loved every day by yourself

“… just be yourself! Smile and be positive.
Whatever you give out it will come back. It’s important to have faith in not only people but also yourself. Believe in yourself and try not to compare yourself to others. A lot of times we are driven by guilt, anger, past or even other people’s expectations that we forget to live life for ourselves.”
—     Lindy Tsang (Bubzbeauty)[Nee Hao Magazine, UK]

What do you like doing in your spare time, how do you relax?

Whenever the World seems to be moving too fast for me, I just play my favourite song and paint. I really think it’s the simple things in life that keeps it upstanding. I have always been an arty girl so I like to get crafty.

don't take yourself too seriously

Desperate for life.

You were just so sick of everything
Dealing with the same shit day after day
Not just from the world
But from yourself

That was what tipped you over the edge
You couldn't stand who you were
Your saw no value in yourself

It was so damn ironic
That the person you disliked the most in the entire world
Was staring at you in front of the mirror day after day
And it seemed like nothing you did could change that

You tried putting on a smile
Every time you left the house
Tried opening your heart to a world of possibilities
But every time you came home
It just wasn't enough
 You couldn't stop your tears

And before you knew it
You were drowning in them
Already lost in a sea of tears
You couldn't breathe anymore

But yet you still put on a smile every time you left the house
And even though so many people saw you
No one could see you suffocating
Desperate for life.
________


You get sick of people pushing you around
telling you what to do
how to do it
what to think
how to see it
You want to be your own person. 
Even if you aren't 100% correct, no one ever is
But the fact that you believe strongly in something and stand up for it
--that is the only way to create something for you to hold onto
--rather than abandoning ship time after time
according to others.
____
You should really be ceareful
you took away her last hope of finding confidence
for your own selfish gains

Do you think I say these things just to say them?
These aren't just simple statements that I make
These are words from my heart
layered with hope for you to take notice
layered with sadness from within

Story:

The lights flickered in the train
Concrete scneary in the dark tunnel
He was on his way home from practice
His lone figure slumped tiredly against the window
Who was he really?
Everyone at SM Entertainment knew him as Kim Junsu
But he wasn't Kim Junsu until 8 years ago.

____

He had the money, the house, the cars--he had everything.
But the loneliness permeated through him even in his sleep..

-Younha-Strawberry Days, Street, Don't Cry, Memory, Hating, Lalala, My song and...

-Dbsk: Before you go

Is this what Victoria meant? Something that moved me...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/42058349/ns/world_news-asiapacific/?gt1=43001

 "This is Japan's most severe crisis since the war ended 65 years ago," Kan told reporters, adding that Japan's future would be decided by its response. 

A young man described what ran through his mind before he escaped in a separate rescue. "I thought to myself, ah, this is how I will die," Tatsuro Ishikawa, his face bruised and cut, told NHK as he sat in striped hospital pajamas.


Osuga said she had been practicing origami, the Japanese art of folding paper into figures, with her three children when the quake stuck. She recalled her husband's shouted warning from outside: "'GET OUT OF THERE NOW!'"
She gathered her children — aged 2 to 6 — and fled in her car to higher ground with her husband. They spent the night in a hilltop home belonging to her husband's family about 12 miles (20 kilometers) away.
"My family, my children. We are lucky to be alive," she said.

"I have come to realize what is important in life," Osuga said, nervously flicking ashes from a cigarette onto the rubble at her feet as a giant column of black smoke billowed in the distance.


Etsuko Koyama escaped the water rushing through the third floor of her home but lost her grip on her daughter's hand and has not found her.
"I haven't given up hope yet," Koyama told public broadcaster NHK, wiping tears from her eyes. "I saved myself, but I couldn't save my daughter."

"The Japanese spirit has an amazing capacity to turn tragedy into triumph. I have faith in that spirit."
 

 

____

“Live life with such… clarity.”

“You know, the first few seconds after waking up in the morning when you don't remember about all of the problems and worries in your life- it’s clarity. I try to live my life like that all day every d “Live life at your own pace.”

“Time may not stop for me, it goes ahead with or without me but it doesn’t mean I have to catch up with it. I live at my own pace, not at someone else’s.ay.”

“Being in SM- one of the big 4 companies doesn’t always mean success, I mean look at some of the past artists. Success isn’t measured but how we’ll you’re known, it’s if you feel like you’ve done well for yourself- not the fame or money… at the end of the day that doesn’t matter.”

“What helped you get through it?”

“Positive thinking, crying it out, figuring out myself and what I wanted and needed, and you…

“So, when does life begin then oh wise one?” Kyu Hyun asked, half jokingly.

“I know nothing, but I think it begins whenever you want it to…” She said, with a smile. “Could be yesterday, today, or tomorrow- anytime you want.”

“Then what was everything before that?”

“Practice.” She chuckled.

“When did your life begin?” He asked curiously.

“The day I decided to leave SM, what about you?”

“I don’t think I’ve started my life yet…” He admitted honestly, “It feels like something is missing… till then.”

“At your own pace…” In Seul said.

“I don’t have to catch up with time…” Kyu Hyun said, with a smile and a small nod.

ｗｈａｔ　ｒ　ｕ　ｂｏｒｎ　ｆｏｒ

“No, I think this is what I was meant to do…” She said, without any hesitation and a smile still upon her face. “The music I do now, the lifestyle I live, it suits me, matches me. I think I went in for the wrong reasons thinking it was what I wanted. But this is perfect for me…”

“I think people have the wrong perception when they want to become a singer- that if you’re an idol you’ve made it but to be honest, it’s harder and it’s a bit lonely at times

________________________________________________________________

    dude its just college
    you're not gonna be impacted much by this in the future
    sure maybe you'll be devastated now
    but.. not in 15, 20 years

    the college you go to does not define your success
    if you wanna be successful in life you will do whatever you need to do reach your goal

    college does not control that
    stop imagining it

    wake up and just do what you have to do

 ________________




The world around us
connecting us together
You see me before you
But I'm secretly fading away
Don't let me fade away
Listen to my silent pleas
Look into my eyes
notice the dullness
take note of the lack of life
It's draining away
Hurry before its too late
Before time runs out
and there is no chance for hope

You were so sad
Because you couldn't bring the same happiness
You just couldn't bring the same joy to people
Your efforts were futile
It was as though you were the dark cloud
that covered everyone in a shroud of darkness
That was what you were
and you hated it
You wanted to be that shining light
And as you cried inside
It rained
And the darkness deepened
As watered blurred everything into a sad choking mixture
causing everything to disappear
disappearing down a drain of nowhere
to a place where nothing exists
no light
no darkness
just nothing.

I couldn't get out of here
No matter how hard I tried

__

I am tired of holding your hand
If you are not going to try getting up
I will only hold your hand
if you put in effort
You are not going to place all your weight on me
You are not going to ask me to pick you up
and carry you through life
You will NOT ask that much from me
You have NO right to do so
I do not understand why you would even try
But you have
You did
And I can not stand for that no more
Did you fall again?
Then get back up
I am tired
My hand is red and swollen
from trying to help you up
and hold you up
I'm sore
I'm tired
As you look down at the ground
from your fallen position
Do you not see my weary face?
No
All you see is the ground that you have fallen on
All you can think about is how this world has shoved you down
You see your scraped knees
But what about my red and swollen hand
You never noticed
Because you were so busy staring at the ground
You were letting it hold you down
Don't blame gravity
It's all you starting from there.
Nothing but YOU is keeping you down
On your knees
The longer you stay in that position
The more pain you will cause yourself
Do you not see that?
As you focus in on your scraped knees
and your fallen self
You lose sight of everything else
Think again now
Are your eyes truly open?
Do you think this is reality?
Your hurt knees?
Your eyes might be open
But you are not seeing anything
There is more to what you see than just yourself


http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/chuck-norris-top-50-facts

balancing work, health, fashion, love

DBSK-TAXI

Sometimes I can't differentiate
Between my true self and fake self
Is the fake me truly a part of me?
Maybe it is the true me
I can't tell
Everything has become blurred
These lies that I live in slowly wraps itself around my heart
And as you live out a lie
in front of everyone you know
the tightness in your chest grows
you are falling further from who you are
and you pretend
you just pretend
in order to prevent yourself from falling into pieces
from crumbling away and disappearing into nothingness
from the cold hard truth
that you don't know who you are
no one knows who you really are
even when they think they do
maybe no one will ever know
no one will ever find out
your life was just one inexplicably beautiful lie
fabricated to the smallest detail
stitched perfectly to hold you prisoner forever
in its perfect garment covering the ugly truth
from being bare to the world

shibatora

What's most important to you?

I would like to wait until they can truly smile again. 

Please wait until I can speak with you properly

How old were you, when you stopped telling others what you were thinking and feeling--because nobody cared enough to listen? 

The way I am now, I can do these things...these things and these things..but not these things, these things, and these things.

I gave up. I stopped trying to care. I stopped saying a word because my feelings never reached them--no matter how hard I tried.

But you need to realize, that eventually, your feelings will reach them. They will. They always do.

The memory she remembers the most clearly is the saddest one. 

Even if it was pathetic, you faced her properly at least. You aren't the kind of person to run away. 

Give me back my tears! 

Having someone to talk to is like a detox for your heart. 

It's because you're doing everything so half-halfheartedly, that she wouldn't even turn around for you. 

You are not the only one in pain. Everyone moves forward and lives on. 

There is this pattern with you. You are always going to follow it until you get rid of the same old story. 

You look for what you think is happiness.

Super Junior gives me strength/hope/dreams

Sometimes I am afraid of living a mundane life filled with the same things day after day.
Living a planned out life...
wasting away amazing possibilities of only God knows what.

Where did the friendships go?
Where you were so close
that you would be broken without them

don't have the image of insanely hard workers~eventho

BREAK OUT OF THIS RUT
EVEN IF YOU DON'T FEEL IT
PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER

Brother Sharp

Homeless man noticed for homeless chic style and looks; is mentally ill; swarmed by the media--yet not provided help?

If you are not good with words, smile instantly.

Super Junior & Big Bang

the most important date to me was the last time i saw him
in the hospital, he quietly left the world

Take back that pitiful face
I'm sorry for showing this side of me

oh well. i guess i'll just..

although we may _____, we'll face upwards and keep walking

always in your heart, the smiles of our family

smile,  laugh

there were so many pictures of us together
permanently capturing moments
of love and friendship
as i look through the countless pictures
i can't help but wonder
exactly when did things go wrong?
was it the 8th picture?
the 29th?
the 485th?
and its sad
trying to figure out which of those precious memories
marked the beginning of the downfall in your relationship
it really hurt

sit back and think of how your global experiences
helped you create so many friendships

sometimes you are stuck in the middle of the war
unable to escape
and sorry that you couldn't help bring peace

Are you yourself?
no, no
you are different
you are another person
but you just don't know who
so you pretend for now
just act
because you don't know who you are yet...
you can't change now
this is who they know you as
even if it isn't truly you
wait for a new beginning
before you attempt once again
to figure out whose body you're in
whose mouth you speak with
whose eyes you take in the world with
who heart you are lost with

A me who is:
-responsible-->less procrastination; organized; find out what i need to do
friendly/outgoing
less uptight
-past self -happier

Forgot the strength of the old bus days
brought forth by big bang and the other old songs I got from naomi
Even though their eyelids are drooping, they gather strength again
Seungri, Leeteuk