-Need to update about life
-Currently:
There are many things that are sucking. I usually keep it all in which results in me acting like a baby. But I have something against those who always complain all the time about the same thing or as though they have the worst life in the world all the damn time. Once I crack, I'll probably end up being self-absorbed and complaining about it. What I dislike the most about what others do is something that I dislike from myself.

 No, I don't want to go back to spending hours and hours on the computer alone and wasting my life away.

Why did the world have to remind me once again how to comprehend the value of a week, a day, an hour, a minute, a second, and a millisecond?
 Reminders of the little time that I have, before everything leaves me. The idea of "time running out". The feeling of never seeing someone again. Five minutes left. Four, three, five seconds--before I knew it, they were gone.

Because it was so much easier to lose yourself...

You sit there in front of that damn computer all day long
windows on the screen open and close
words scatter across
and your mind is lost
As the next mindless program loads
the screen goes dark in the midst of loading
and tired dark haunted eyes mindlessly stare back at you
the window is done loading
you no longer see your grim and lost soul
as you are distracted by a new picture, post, message, or website.
lost again in that tiring spiral
where you no longer know the world around you
and that's exactly what you want
why would you want to be aware of a world
that makes your eyes so dark?
and your heart so sad?
but every time a program loads
and the screen turns dark in the midst of loading
for that one millisecond
you are reminded of who you are
and the miserable life that you lead
the next distraction has finally loaded on the screen
before you could see your tears
that cry for all of your lost years